A Real Amusement Park
by Darkness78
Summary: With all these evil amusement parks that Sonic and crew have been to, it's about time they went to one less malevolent.
1. 7:10 AM

**This idea spawns from the fact that in Sonic games, there's been a whole lot of amusement parks with evil inside them- Twinkle Park, for example. So I always wondered, will the Sonic crew be able to handle an amusement park that ISN'T out to kill them? This story takes place after the events of Sonic Colors, because in that game, Sonic and Tails actually mention that they should go to a real amusement park to celebrate their pwning of Eggman. Anyway, enjoy!**

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**Chapter 1- Arriving for the Big One- 7:10 AM**

"Shadow! I want to go on that big ride, so that's what we're doing." Rouge told Shadow early that morning.

"Ughhhh… I never consented to do this in the first place…" he responded, still half-asleep.

"Yes you did."

* * *

That morning at one o'clock…

Shadow's phone rang.

"Uhhh… hi…" he greeted, exhausted, "I'm… sleeping…"

"Hi Shadow! Sonic's holding this huge party at the local amusement park where basically he pays for everything. Do you want to come?"

"Yea… sure…" Shadow said groggily.

"Okay! See you at seven o'clock!" Rouge said happily.

"Okay… mfphphphphph…"

Shadow dropped the phone and went back to sleep.

* * *

"No I didn't!"

"You did. I asked you REALLY early in the morning where you'd be most open to saying yes!"

"YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME!"

"A yes is a yes, Shadow. A no is also a yes unless I say it. Now, let's go on that ride!"

"I don't like the big rides…"

"Oh come on! You're went on the rollercoaster of angst and lived to tell the tale!"

"I also went on the roller coaster of Eggman and nearly got sucked into space."

Rouge stared at Shadow. "If you knew that coaster was dangerous, why ride it?"

"I did it for M-m-m-m-"

"Oh, you did it for HER! Well, why not try again on this one? It's not engineered to kill you, after all."

"No."

"NO MEANS YES!" Rouge sang, and dragged Shadow towards the almost nonexistent line.

* * *

"This one is called the 'Death Race of Doom'! I don't feel good about this…"

"Aw c'mon, Shadow! If you were truly a man, you could handle this!"

"Hey! Don't get my manliness involved in this!"

An operator made an announcement, "Hello, and welcome to the race of your life- the Death Race of Doom! Even though this design was masterminded by an evil genius-"

_Evil genius!_ Shadow thought.

"-we still care about your safety. So please put on your harness and lap belt, and don't put ANY part of your body outside the ride. Because that would be really stupid, and stupid people like to sue us. You may want to leave if you are pregnant, have a serious medical condition, or have a fear of heights. If you wish to leave, please raise your hand and the operator will help you out."

Shadow raised his hand. Rouge slapped it down.

"Okay, then. May you be victorious!"

The ride slowly lunged up a giant hill. Shadow closed his eyes, practically cutting the circulation off of Rouge's arm. When she made a remark about how vulnerable it made him look, he resorted to hugging the harness for dear life. The ride sat at the top for a bit, letting all of its riders look at what they were about to fall down to. Shadow could feel his heart stop beating after the one second he opened his eyes, and the stomach-turning, twisting drop did nothing to help.

The blackened world slowly changed to green. The loop-de-loops spun him around more than he was used to, and it never stopped, even after he screamed. It brought him back to the tragedy at the Ark. _Nobody can hear you scream, Shadow. N… O… B… O… D… Y…_

Then the ride did the unthinkable. It slowed down; leaving Shadow to believe it was over. He began to inhale when yet another spiraling drop occurred. Not just that, but he saw something flash too.

"ROUGE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!" he cried.

She yawned. "This ride is kinda boring, actually. I doubt the ride photo will be interesting either."

"THIS IS HORRIBLE!"

Suddenly, the ride jerked to a stop. It slowly rode towards the exit gate.

"It wasn't so bad, wasn't it?" Rouge asked, winking.

Shadow's world was spinning, but he could definitely identify the green bile that was spewing from his mouth.

"Okay, that- that's just gross…" Rouge commented, running off to get some bags.

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**Hope you liked! Please review!**


	2. 7:20 AM

**Hey guys! It's time for chapter 2! I referenced one of my other fanfics in this- review if you find the reference!**

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Chapter 2- Stupid Carnival Games- 7:20 AM

"These things are a waste of money!" Knuckles announced, as soon as Tails, Sonic, and he reached the carnival games section, "They're rigged so you always lose! Why can't we go on the Death Race of Doom?"

"Because Shadow puked all over the ride! No way am I touching THAT!" Sonic replied, "It has emo germs on it..."

"Agreed. Anyway, the only other options are the kiddie rides. At least until 8:00," Tails added.

"Well, I refuse to play these money-suckers- OOH IS THAT A JUMBO CHAO DOLL?"

"Um, Knuckles, you already have one of those… You got it when you pulverized me at Skee Ball…" Sonic brought up.

"YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY CHAO DOLLS!" Knuckles ran over the carnival game.

* * *

"Hey Knux! I'm a huge fan of yours, y'know?" the person running the game said, "I assume you want to play my game."

"GIMME THE CHAO DOLL!" Knuckles shouted.

"Ah, ah, ah!" the person replied, "If you want the doll, you've got to play the game!"

"Fine. Five bucks for three balls? It's on." Knuckles pulled five dollars out of his pocket.

* * *

Fifty dollars later…

"Knuckles, we can go on the big rides soon… Can we get going…?"

"YES I GOT THE DOLL!" Knuckles exclaimed, "We can go now…"

"Knuckles, I kept trying to tell you…" Tails said tentatively.

"What?"

"The park sells those dolls for ten dollars… But you were so in the zone, I couldn't communicate with you."

"WHAT! So you mean the entire time, I could have gotten one of those dolls for forty dollars less."

"Yes?"

Knuckles grabbed Tails's shoulders and shook him. "YOU. IDIOT."

"The one who says idiot is the idiot."

"Says the fox quoting Cirno…"

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**I know, it's short. But I personally enjoyed it. Please review!**


	3. 7:40 AM

**Yay! It's time for Chapter 3! Enjoy!**

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Chapter 3- Kiddie Rides- 7:40 AM

_"Come on a journey with me!" said a beautiful fairy._

_ And those were the famous words she said, as the fantasy world of happiness took form._

_ Come with her now, and explore her world, filled with flowers, butterflies, and fun!_

* * *

"Yay! You're finally going on Sweet Butterfly's Adventure with me!" Cream exclaimed.

"Let's just get this over with…" Amy grumbled, "After this I'm going on The Death Race of Doom…"

"Didn't Mister Shadow throw up on that?"

"That's because he couldn't handle it."

"Oh! Could I handle it?" Cream fluttered her eyelids.

"No. You're too short."

Cream put on her angry face, "I WANT TO HANDLE THE DEATH RACE OF DOOM! I WANT TO, I WANT TO, I WANT TO!"

"Ooh, is it tantrum time?" Charmy, who was right behind them in line, exclaimed, "Hey Espio, what unreasonable cause should **_I_** scream about?"

"Please don't." Espio replied, already embarrassed.

"WHY WON'T YOU LET ME HAVE A TANTRUM! WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY!" Charmy began kicking his feet on the ground.

"LET ME GO ON THAT RIDE!" Cream screamed.

"GIVE ME A BETTER TANTRUM IDEA!" Charmy shouted.

"WHY IS THE WORLD SO UNFAIR!"

"WHHHHYYYYYYYY!"

"WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"OH MY GOD THEY'RE TAKING TURNS!" Amy shouted. She pulled out her hammer. "BOTH OF YOU! STOP OR YOU'LL GET YOUR VERY FIRST CUNCUSSION!"

The other people in the line gave Amy disapproving looks.

"I'M ANGRY, OKAY!"

"Can't blame you." Espio replied.

"CHAMELEON! STAY OUT OF THIS!"

* * *

After that moment, a whole bunch of people let Amy, Cream, Espio, and Charmy cut the line (wonder why?).

"See Cream? Anger solves problems!" Amy told Cream, who was taking notes.

"Yay!" Charmy exclaimed.

"You're teaching the kids the wrong messages." Espio brought up, "Mooching. Yes, THAT'S where the problem-solving is."

"YAAAY!"

"Um, sir. Are you going to get on the ride or not?" a ride operator interrupted.

"Let's go on a journey with Princess Blossom!" Cream exclaimed.

"Sir, only living things and teddy bears are permitted on this ride," the ride operator told Espio, pointing at a pillow and a blanket that Espio had just pulled out

"But I need them!" Espio protested.

"You can have them at the end of the ride," the ride operator replied, grabbing the pillow and blanket.

"Darn… Now my neck is going to hurt..."

Amy, Cream, Charmy, and Espio got into the boat.

"Enjoy your stupid ride."

* * *

"Oh! Another butterfly!" Espio exclaimed. He threw a shuriken at the string that held the butterfly up, and watch it plunge into the water. "Oops, now you're dead."

"Espppiiiioooo! Stop killing the butterflies!" Charmy whined.

"Relax, Charmy. I'm only trying to have some fun here."

"Can I have some of your shurikens?" Amy asked.

"DON'T DO IT AMY!" Charmy shouted.

"It's not nice to kill butterflies!" Cream added.

"I'm sorry, but I must." Amy said dramatically, "I am… incredibly bored."

"I'll give you those shurikens…" Espio replied ominously.

"I WON'T LET YOU!" Charmy screamed, jumping between Espio and Amy.

"Bah! Little child! Get out of the way!"

"You won't, right Charmy?" Cream asked.

"Never."

* * *

The ride was about halfway through when security began chasing them.

"I told you! Bad things will happen when you kill butterflies."

"Shut it, Charmy! We must make a run for it!"

Espio shot a few shurikens at the security guards, then jumped out of the boat and ran. The others soon followed suit.

"Madam and sir! You are being a terrible influence to your child, as well as damaging park property! Get back here and pay for the damages, or we'll call the G.U.N. truck!" the guards shouted.

"And what? Make the damage worse?" Amy retorted.

"Don't question us!"

Espio pointed to an exit sign. "The emergency exit is somewhere down there. We must take out the guards before we reach it."

"Thank you Captain Obvious!" Charmy exclaimed.

"I didn't happen to see you make that observation."

"That's because it's obvious!"

Suddenly, one of the guards grabbed Cream. He whispered in her ear, "I'm crazy for you."

Cream screamed, "PERVERT!" She then proceeded to kick crazily.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER!" Amy shouted, pulling out her hammer. The guard got the point, and quickly ran off. Cream tried to run to Amy, only to be grabbed by the other guards.

"Come over here or the girl gets it!" a female guard shouted, holding Cream precariously over the water.

"I don't think you should have saaaaid that…" Charmy warned. The warning came too late, though. Amy's face had already gone red with fury. Death glare intact, she charged at the guard, effectively removing said guard of usable arm privileges.

"DON'T TICK ME OFF!" Amy screamed as a warning to the other guards, grabbing Cream and running for the exit…

* * *

"That was AWESOME!" Charmy exclaimed, "Let's do that again!"

"Charmy, if we did that again the feds would be after us." Amy said flatly.

"Who cares? I got to be like Shadow!"

"My point exactly."

"Anyway Charmy, you did nothing." Espio brought up, "You just ran a lot and made Captain Obvious comments."

"Shadow did those fifty years ago…"

Suddenly, Cream's watch began beeping.

"Guys, it's tantrum time!" she said, smiling.

"NO!" Amy and Espio said together.

Cream and Charmy threw themselves to the ground, screaming like rabid animals.

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_**AND THEN 2012 HAPPEND**__**EARLY!**_

**Haha, just kidding. Please review.**


	4. 8:05 AM

**Time for another chappie! This one documents the absolute worst job you can possibly get when visiting an amusement park- OFFICIAL BAGHOLDER (which is exactly what it says on the tin)! It's usually a role given to those who hate rollar coasters or have a medical condition that prevents them from riding. Thankfully I've never been given this role, but from what I've heard, it's pretty darn boring.**

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**Chapter 4- Official Bagholder- 8:05 AM**

"Hi Omega!" Rouge greeted. Shadow was lying down next to her with a barf bag in his hands, still feeling rather dizzy. He managed to make small wave.

"Rouge, what did you do to Shadow!?" Omega said, using his upset tone.

"Oh, I just put him on a rollercoaster he didn't want to ride. Nothing too bad. Hey, check out the ride photo." Rouge showed Omega a nice picture of Shadow clinging to her, and laughed, "Shadow looks so cute!"

Shadow groaned.

"Okay… So, um, anyway, today I brought my girlfriend E-56 Xi! She used to be one of Eggman's nurse-bots wh-"

"OH THAT POOR LITTLE HEDGEHOG!" Xi exclaimed, running towards Shadow, "Aw, are you okay? Do you want a blanket? Are you still throwing up, you sicky-wicky hedgie-wedgie?"

"…When she got a bit too huggly-wuggly towards the sick people. Like she did right there." Omega turned to Xi. "Xi, can you lay off Shadow?"

"Oh, right." Xi smiled, and waved to Rouge. "So, you must be Rouge. I've heard plenty about you."

"Ooh!" Rouge squealed, seeing an opportunity for praise, "What have you heard about me?"

"Well, you've been banned from 90% of Station Square's jewelry stores, and you draw smiley faces on your jewels so that 'they' can compliment you."

"Oh… I've also saved the world."

"For your own purposes."

"I've, um, saved Chao."

"No you haven't."

Rouge looked around desperately, "I, uh, YES! No, I also, can, NO! AGH!" Rouge pulled Xi close, "JUST SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT ME!"

"Well, scans say that you'd be fun to go on roller coasters with."

"Lies…" muttered Shadow

"Can it Shadow. And yes, I would be fun to go on rides with. Let's go do that. So you can compliment me."

"Okay?" Xi was quickly pulled away to the nearest ride, but not before handing her bag to Omega. Rouge threw her bag at him also.

"Um, you're welcome?" Omega sighed, now stuck with two heavy bags and Shadow the Dead Weight.

* * *

Omega was busy rifling through Rouge's bag when Blaze and Silver approached him.

"Hey, Omega! We're going on some rides. Will you hold our bags?" Silver asked, smiling while holding three large backpacks.

"N-"

"Great, thanks!" Silver chuckled, and dropped the backpacks on Omega's lap. He turned to Blaze, "C'mon Blaze! Let's go!"

"Agh!" Blaze exclaimed, as Silver grabbed her and began running.

"Guys, I didn't say yes!" Omega shouted fruitlessly. He slumped into the bench. "Hey, Shadow, do you-"

Shadow snored.

"Oh." Omega grumbled.

Xi walked back with Rouge. Xi was carrying a load of stuffed toys and antique medical tools; Rouge was carrying a black bag of jewelry, each trinket still having its price tag on it.

"Hi Omega!" Xi greeted. She dropped her bags the second she saw Shadow sleeping. "AW SO CUTE! I HAVE TO HELP HIM!"

"Hey! That's my blanket!" Rouge exclaimed, as Xi grabbed the blanket and put it on Shadow.

"POOR LITTLE HEDGEHOG BABY! YOU'LL FEEL BETTER NOW WITH THIS SNUGGLY-WUGGLY BLANKET!"

"Hmph."Shadow mumbled sleepily.

"WHEN HE WAKES UP HE'LL BE BETTER!"

"Xi! Snap outta it!" Omega shouted.

"Oh, right."

"Omega, we bought a crapton of stuff, and it is going on your lap!" Rouge proclaimed, shoving her load onto Omega's lap. She grabbed Xi's load, and plopped it on Omega's lap as well.

"Guys, no more! I can't hold any-"

Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles walked by, dragging along a large anvil.

"Don't ask, just hold!" Sonic said loudly, as the anvil was loaded onto Omega's lap.

"&^$&*(#^%*(#%#*(&%&*#!" Omega screamed, using a series of machine noises which could not be transcribed for this fanfic.

* * *

E-102 Gamma and E-101 Beta had just arrived at the amusement park. They were simply arguing over who should hold the bags and who should go on the ride (because they were both far too stingy to pay for a locker), when they noticed a mountain of bags on a bench. Next to that mountain was Shadow, sleeping with a blanket on him.

"Beta! Look at this! We can put our bags on this pile!" Gamma exclaimed

"Sure!" Beta replied, "Let's hurry so I can go talk to girls!"

"NO!" the pile shouted.

"Hey, I'm a playa! Hitting on girls is in-"

"I wasn't referring to your playerness! I meant put your bags elsewhere!"

Gamma and Beta shrugged, and placed their bags at the foot of the pile.

"For the love of god!" the pile exclaimed, "$& %^^ ^&*&*&*%&!"

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**Hope you liked, please review (and hope fanfiction someday includes customizable signatures so I can stop hand-typing this sentence over and over again! ;D).**


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